hug protocol initiated

[&jiffy> i hugged my dad when my dad's dad died, you are supposed to do that
[&mp> i hug my dad a lot
[@cryocrunk> hugs are gay
[&jiffy> it's okay to hug a dad
[~Nermy> i'm not comfortable hugging anyone who's not a girl or gay
[&mp> well i guess i just love my dad more than you guys love yours
[&jiffy> i hugged my dad tonight
[@cryocrunk> girl hugs suck usually
[monkeylic> come on nermy we know you get your kicks hugging str* dads
[&jiffy> oh cryosin like that picture with the girl leaning way out right
[monkeylic> str9
[&mp> ass out hugs
[@TheSpaceCowboy> i'm not comfortable hugging anybody but edward james olmos
[~Nermy> did you mean str8
[monkeylic> str8
[@cryocrunk> yes jiffy i made that
[&jiffy> yep!
[&jiffy> you did it
[&mp> i bet gina has never given anybody an ass out hug
[&jiffy> you should link that again for prosperity
[@cryocrunk> ive gotten lots of the shitty hugs lately
[~Nermy> when gina hugs she goes balls deep
[@cryocrunk> lol
[~Nermy> i won't lie i've given girls ass out hugs before
[~Nermy> we turn tables in this channel
[&mp> the worst is when a girl gives you a weak hug and youre like uhhh why are you giving me a weak hug, im a lot more attractive than other guys you hug
[&mp> or in other words, youre not hot enough to give me a weak hug sister
[&jiffy> demand hug reparations
[&mp> the opposite of that is a fat girl who hugs you and won't let go
[~Nermy> end hug apartheid
[@cryocrunk> lol
[@cryocrunk> man
[@cryocrunk> id be better off if i just never let girls hug me
[@cryocrunk> then id never be disappointed with poor hug performance
[&mp> actually worse than that is when a girl touches my stomach through my shirt and says something slutty
[~Nermy> i got a really good hug over the summer but most of my hugs are so so
[~Nermy> mp that's gross
[&mp> yep
[&mp> nermy uhhh dont you get hugged all the time
[~Nermy> yeah
[&mp> i would think you would have to wear kevlar
[~Nermy> i've got a lot of chest hair
[&jiffy> i call people named kevin kevlar
[&mp> thats real weird
[~Nermy> actually it's grown in pretty thick lately its probably an adaptation due to all the hugs

lich, what the fuck

<~Nermy> man if i ever kill a lich i wouldn't bother destroying his phylactery since it's worth 240 000 gp
[hobs] wow
[jiffy] why
[jiffy] is that d&d supply and demand
[hobs] its probably hard as fuck to make
[hobs] yea
[jiffy] prophylactery
[hobs] saw that coming
[jiffy] as long as you have one you can never get pregnant
[jiffy] well i would not want to let you down habs
[hobs] give it to all mexicans
<~Nermy> 1d10 days after apparent conception the fetus is aborted

if i did it

[~Nermy> man if mccain had become president there'd be a lot of 19 year olds dying in north korea right now
[~Nermy> thanks democracy >:(
[cryocrunque> well
[cryocrunque> going to war would probably beat being a student
[~Nermy> well most people who join the military wouldn't be functional members of society anyway
[cryocrunque> if there was a draft
[&jiffy> then people would get drafted
[&jiffy> THE END
[&jiffy> also, did you mean : if there were a draft?
[&jiffy> because there was a draft
[~Nermy> here's how it happened
[&jiffy> "if we drafted"
[~Nermy> oh

a-rodg

"He joined Kurt Warner as only the second quarterback in NFL history to throw for more than 4,000 yards in his first year as a starter. His 28 touchdown passes were the most by a first-year starter since Daunte Culpepper in 2000. His 2.6 percent interception rate was the lowest by a Packers quarterback in more than a decade. He ranked in the NFL’s top six in several significant passing categories: completions over 40 yards (tied for first), third-down QB rating (3rd), touchdowns (4th), passing yards (4th), completions over 20 yards (tied for 5th), and overall QB rating (6th)."

ron-ron for jesus

"Five dollar footlong is one of the best songs," Artest said. "That's a hot song. You've got the freecreditreport.com, and then five dollar footlong comes on. When five dollar footlong comes on, they should play that in the club. They should play all those in the club."

card

weeeeeeird NFL fact

The year after Lindy Infante left Green Bay, they got Brett Favre.
The year after Lindy Infante left Indianapolis, they got Peyton Manning.

Someone should hire Infante to ruin their franchise ASAP. He's only 68!!

THE BRACKET (2004 presidential election)

Original bracket

Mario (Tanooki suit)
Sonic w/spin dash
Bo Jackson from Pro Stars
Optimus Prime
Godzilla (classic)
Pirates
Ninjas
Ninja Turtles (all 4)
Batman (comic book)
Huckleberry Hound

Ryu vs. Chun-Li play-in round
Sub-Zero vs. Scorpion play-in round
Dave Thomas (from Wendy's)
The Noid
Ultimate Warrior
Silly Putty (classic)
Millenium Falcon piloted by Han Soo
Led Zeppelin (1971)
Spock

T-1000
Holden Caulfield
Captain Crunch and Count Chocula (tag team)
Curious George
Rescue Rangers
Bugs Bunny
Rocky & Bullwinkle (tag team)
Marty McFly with hoverboard
Hardy Boys
Knee Socks Jones from Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Buffy
Chia Pet
Ridley from Aliens
Scary Spice
Jolt COla
Link
Skeletor
Elle Driver from Kill Bill
Benito Mussolini
Duncan McCloud vs. William Wallace play-in round

Swamp Thing
Xena
Saruman
The Nothingness from The Neverending Story
Inigo Montoya
The California Raisins
Vintage Zombies
Magneto
Calvin (one use per function of the box, i.e. transmogrifier)
Shaft (you dig?)

Cartman
Lara Croft
Indiana Jones
Leprechaun from the horror movies
Ed Gein
Aunt Jemima
Super Grover
Groundskeeper Willy vs. Comic Book Guy play-in round
Carmen Sandiego
Sirens from The Odyssey

Grigori Rasputin
WRITE-IN
Paul Bunyan with axe, no Babe
Run-DMC

PLAY IN ROUND RESULTS
Ryu defeats Chun-Li
Scorpion defeats Sub-Zero
William Wallace defeats Duncan McCloud
Groundskeeper Willy defeats Comic Book Guy (worst matchup ever)

Also here is my write-in candidate:
http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/7438/doomnanny.png
(Either character is acceptable0

meaningless thoughts

1) Attention Netflix: Instant Queue is an oxymoron. Just call it an online queue! Or be stupid 1990s corporate and call it a Digital Queue or an eQueue (EQ). Seriously.

2) Dan Patrick would be the best guy on sports radio if he didn't love himself so much. However, Colin Cowherd has my vote as the best, yet he is as pompous as they come.

3) Picked up a goodie at the wonderful Thimbleberry Books. The Alcoholic Republic: An American Tradition by W.J. Rorabaugh. Just started but it's highly amusing and informative. Long story short: as much as you drank in college, the forefathers put down more.

going to hell round a thousand

[~Nermy] if you could have sex with one cripple, real or fictional, who would it be
[Atmosfear] captain hook
[~Nermy] barbara gordon
[@TheSpaceCowboy] helen keller
[&jiffy] nermy that's the answer
[Atmosfear] not a cripple faggot she could walk
[&jiffy] there are no other answers
[Dubert] oh god wy cant i think of any cripples
[@TheSpaceCowboy] barely
[Dubert] am i that out of touch
[Dubert] professor x??
[Atmosfear] professor x would mindfuck you
[~Nermy] professor x isn't a cripple anymore
[Dubert] :(
[&jiffy] well atmosfear in tsc's defense you could kneecap helen keller really easily
[~Nermy] well
[@TheSpaceCowboy] id knock the bottom out so she couldnt walk
[~Nermy] i guess he's brain damaged
[&jiffy] i'd knock her bottom out to IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
[&jiffy] (intercourse)
[~Nermy] just move all the furniture in the house around every day
[Atmosfear] well i mean jiffy if that's the standard here then I would just kneecap Kate Hudson
[@TheSpaceCowboy] hit it and quit it
[&jiffy] she could see it coming atmos
[@TheSpaceCowboy] i think she counts as a cripple
[Dubert] why did it goe to human rights and equal opportunity comission's website when i search "famous cripples"
[~Nermy] atmosfear if the cripple you'd choose to have sex with is kate hudson then that's terrible
[@TheSpaceCowboy] kate hudson is borderline retarded
[@TheSpaceCowboy] so it counts
[~Nermy] there's no borderline about it
[Dubert] jeniffer aniston
[~Nermy] if you date owen wilson you have to get your iq tested
[&jiffy] atmosfear could just masturbate because he's an emotional cripple
[Dubert] zing
[Atmosfear] hehe jiffy i almost typed that
[&jiffy] :)
[Atmosfear] but it wouldve been emo faggotry if i typed it
[&jiffy] yup
[Dubert] pretty much
[Atmosfear] im glad we had my emotional shortcomings in mind though
[&jiffy] nobody said cAd
[Atmosfear] cAd is a grad student
[Atmosfear] nobody fucks grad students
[Dubert] zing zing
[&jiffy] yep
[&jiffy] you got me
[@TheSpaceCowboy] wheels from the bk kids club
[&jiffy] or wheels from bk kids
[&jiffy] damnit!
[Dubert] woah
[Atmosfear] hahah
[Dubert] vortez
[Dubert] damnit!
[Atmosfear] well played gentlecrunks
[@TheSpaceCowboy] that was odd
[&jiffy] yep

BORG DICK

"Borg Dick" by Chicken Wing and the Appetizerz
lyrics by jiffy, igjb, dube, pvam, hobs

(uh yeah boi turn up da track... ha ahhh... here we go)

assiminow assimilator breathin heavy like darth vader
absorbing all your culture like vampiric space invaders
split from the collective the name is hugh g rection
spreadin nanoprobes through fallopian tubes forming yeast infections
assimilatin cooch across all fiddy states
borg dick borg dick high latinum goin rates
mechanical dick got hydraulics with spinnaz on my nutsac
(once you had borg you never go back)
get back it blows it blows techno organic dick flak
(once you had borg you never go back)

unnnnnn borg dick like seven of nine
inches it's fine
feel of solid steel implants to the chop shop
cloaking device hos always getting the drop
fuckin all the bitches in unimatrix zero
bring em to their knees as the unimatrix hero

CHORUS x2
assimilatin wit da rest // we be da best
borg dick like borg thick borg brick solid hard rock
borg dick like borg thick borg brick solid hard cock
assimilatin wit da rest // we be da best

once led by lore so we spread the lore
door to door like jehovah get you on the floor
spreading legs like gospel interstellar pilgrimage
nothin nano bout these probes they're macro like image
practice on the holodeck like preseason scrimmage
ready your cunts for straight delta quadrant pillage

borg dick borg dick hidin and waitin
always there for reanimatin', re-creatin
no hidin from it in yo regen pod
time best spent openin for borg rod
nigga fuck yo vulcan shit
vulcan dick just ain't the kit
spinnin cock penetratin like drill bits
adolescent as q2 fappin to borg tits

Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct
Unimatrix Zero-One bitches always get crunked
bloody beaten and raped on the floor of astrometrics (metrics)
assaulted and pounded gettin' torn up by borg dicks
fittin together like pieces in tetris
meetin with the EMH on manner of obstetrics (what)
borg dick it ain't Bjorn like tennis
just fires blasts like Fenris
Worf Riker Picard Kirk Spock or Neelix
all ain't got shit compared to the borg dicks
(borg dicks) borg dickin' fryin sluts up like chicken
juice from the borg dick is straight finger lickin', yo

CHORUS x2
assimilatin wit da rest // we be da best
borg dick like borg thick borg brick solid hard rock
borg dick like borg thick borg brick solid hard cock
assimilatin wit da rest // we be da best

not raped like wolf 359 now we doin' the rapin'
five minutes of borg dick and the pussy is gapin'
ready your landin strip open like janeway
borg dick dp balls don't touch so it ain't gay

mfk the reckoning

{bifteksupernova> kill, fuck, marry: sally field, sally struthers, sally jessy raphael.
{bifteksupernova> Go!
{&jiffy> kill sally struthers fuck sally jesse marry sally field
{~Nermy> kill sjr, fuck sally struthers, marry sally field
{&jiffy> that was a good one cad
{~Nermy> marry sally field was pretty obv though
{bifteksupernova> yeah
{&jiffy> yep